What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
