JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
