I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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