If i come over, it means nothing
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize