you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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