You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
