so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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