Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
