there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
