So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
