Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
