in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
