In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
