Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
they're like a gay fantastic four
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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