I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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