I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
