It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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