the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
