just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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