I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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