i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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