She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
