she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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