wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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