Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
