You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
