the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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