I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
