Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
