he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
