I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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