PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
