Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize