Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
