JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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