I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
