I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
