So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You smell like stripper and shame
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
