i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
