I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
