the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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