We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
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