whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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