cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
