It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
tell your sister to shave her snatch
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
