Don't make out with my wife yet
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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