I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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