I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
