google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
