My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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