Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
