i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
