tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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