I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
