You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize