hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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