we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
