Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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