u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
