I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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