i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
