I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
