you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
