we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
